I Feel Pretty

This morning I was walking around, trying to get ready to go to the doctor, when my sweet Chloe came up and asked, "Mommy, why are you walking with your feet out to the sides?" I explained the technical term was waddling and I would be grateful if we could not talk about it. Ever again.

I sort of forgot how pregnancy just takes over my whole body. I am enjoying that aspect of pregnancy more this time than I ever have before, but it is still shocking to see the changes. A few weeks ago I had to get fitted for compression stockings to wear for the remainder of this pregnancy. I am grateful to need them, it means the baby is getting big and things are going well, so I don't want this to sounds like a complaint, it really isn't.

I went to pick them up this morning and it was one laugh after another. The lady started by asking if I wanted her to tell me how, and then try on my own in a back room, or she could help me put them on. Since I value my personal space, I opted for the demonstration only. As she was explaining the art of putting them on, I laughed out loud. She asked what was so funny, and I said, "I'm just picturing my pregnant self trying to get into these things."

When I was left to put them on I had two thoughts. First, it was like putting on the thickest pair of tights ever made. In Chloe's size. Second, I wondered if someone would come looking for me if I happened to pass out from the fatigue of trying to put them on.

Once I had them on, I had several other thoughts.

• I really should have gone to the bathroom one last time before I got into these things.
• There is no way I am going to take them off until the delivery day, lest I have to try that again.
• Thank God it's winter, because I'm pretty sure they raised my bodily temperature from normal pregnancy warm, to hot flash warm.
• Desperate prayers that Mike never sees them on, or while I am trying to get them on. Here's guessing it's an image he would have to work hard to forget.
• They don't actually look like a real thing. They look like a movie set prop (think Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire).
• No one under the age of 83 should ever have to wear something so beige.
• At least now I can tell people I'm doing cardio during this pregnancy.
• When she said I should wash these every day, do you think showering in them would count?
• If this company doesn't have a hidden camera in that room, they are crazy. They could make a fortune on my video alone.

But, I can genuinely say that they have helped already today and I am thankful to have them. And even more thankful that my insurance company is paying for them.