Chloe Nicole

Chloe. There just are no words to describe the immediate thoughts that come to mind with her.

We waited for Chloe, which was something completely foreign to us. When we started having kids I told Mike we should just jump in, none of this years between siblings stuff. If we were doing baby stuff, we should just do baby stuff. And yet there are three years between Michael and Chloe. It again wasn't my plan, but as always, God's timing was perfect.

Rachel and Michael were thrilled when we found out that Chloe would be joining our family. Well, thrilled with the idea of another brother or sister in general. Michael however, did not take the news of her being a girl all that well. We took the kids with us to our 20 week ultrasound and when the tech said, "I think it's a girl," Michael said, "No. It's a boy." The ultrasound lady laughed and told him that it was indeed a little girl. On the way home that day I was trying to get him excited and asked what he thought we should name her. His only reply, with a hanging head was, "Boy."

My pregnancy with Chloe was uneventful. She was due in August, so it was hot, and I swelled more with her than anyone else. But other than that things were perfectly normal with the pregnancy. With the pregnancy, not so much with life.

When I was 5 months pregnant with Chloe, my nephew died of SIDS. Nicholas was only 4 months old. I will never forget being at Children's with my sister or the day of his funeral. I remember watching my family during the funeral and thinking that we would never be the same. That this event would change my family forever. And in many ways, it has.

After that I became very anxious to have Chloe here with us. Suddenly everything felt so fragile and I was anxious to hold her in a whole new way. Since I had not gone into labor on my own with the first two, the doctors decided to induce just a few days after my due date. My labor with Chloe kept the same pattern of the first two. Twelve hours and an epidural later, Chloe joined us. She was facing the wrong way, and I remember that hurting more than normal, but she was finally here! I remember that, more than anything else, when they handed her to me I felt such relief.

I held Chloe so much more than I did either of the first two. I enjoyed her more and tried to slow down and really remember what her days were like. I loved her infancy. And I am so glad that God made her infancy like that for me. I had no idea that Chloe would be our last child for so long, and it makes me so thankful that I enjoyed that time so much.

Chloe is such a joy. She is funny, in a way that maybe only Petri's get, and completely in love with all things pretty. She reminds me alot of myself (which is why I have already started praying for her teenage years). I am so excited to see her reaction to her little sister.

And this is a little but of a sidenote, but if you think about it, please pray for my sister. The anniversary of Nicholas' death is the 19th of this month. Pray that the God of all comfort would draw her to Himself and surround her with His presence.