I have no doubt that Rachel doesn't belong to me. From very early on in her life I knew that she belonged to the Lord. And I don't mean that in a pious way, but one look at what God is doing in her little life, and you just know - she's on loan. Theologically speaking, I know that is true of all my children. He is allowing us to raise them, but they are His. I thought I had that down. Then Gideon came. It took me longer to surrender my will than I would have liked, but eventually I rejoiced in the fact that He belonged to God.
So what the heck?!? If I've already learned it TWICE, how can I not have it down for Chloe? She's not mine. Anything God wants to do with her is His to decide. And we all know His plans are better than mine anyway. But I'm white knuckling this one. I really want her heart to be okay. I'm holding on to her health like it is mine to protect.
But then God chose to remind me of a few things. I was cleaning out some old emails today and lots of them were old prayer requests I have sent about Rachel. I read that there was an 80-90% change that her body would reject her cornea. You know, the cornea she has had for almost a year now - basically without complication. And I also read my comments about it - "Pray that I would remember that Dr. Kaufman only told me what he is going to do. He has no idea what my God is going to do." See I told you I had learned it already.
I was reminded that God will go before us to Children's tomorrow. He will meet with us there, like He always does. And that regardless of the outcome I can trust Him with her life. His way is better and I love that He wants me to be more like Him - He is more concerned with my heart than my comfort and for that I am grateful!!
5 years ago
3 comments:
Good things to remember, Margie. Thanks for sharing. I'll be praying for your kiddos.
Also .. totally off topic, but I read your first blog post (about Mike in his pink shirt). I'm not sure how I didn't notice this (perhaps because I don't know your family too well), but I think Ben and Mike would hit it off really well. To Ben - dressing up for church means wearing a hoodie with no paint or wood glue on it.
Praying, praying praying for you guys and gals today! Thank you for sharing your struggles and victories...it makes life seem more real somehow.
I'll be praying Margie. It's helpful to hear reminders of God's goodness to others. Thank you for taking the time to write that.
I think it's funny that spiritually I already think JP is doing well and Dora is a hellion. When did I become the decision maker and when did God start bursing into lives of only the "nicer kids"? :-)
Post a Comment