His Choice

I've been thinking a lot lately about the choices that God makes. When He sent Jesus to die for my sins, I didn't tell Him He shouldn't. When He created the universe, I didn't add my input. And I never look at a sunset and think it would be better if only God had listened to my ideas about the matter. So I really have no basis for wanting to question His choices when it comes to my kids. Because after all, they were never my kids to begin with. They are His, and He can do with them whatever He sees fit.

That all makes it sound like I am doing better than I actually am. But I know that it is all true. Thankfully we did learn a lot after the loss of Gideon. And I can trust that new lessons will be added to those. And that, for the time being, the old lessons will serve me well.

Yesterday Mike and I were talking and I starting complaining. I was going on and on about all the women that have normal pregnancies. I'm pretty sure at the lowest point I even mentioned Octo-mom. And then, mid-sentence, I realized that I was trash talking my God. I was telling Him that He made the wrong choice and how dare He do this. That shut me up. I trust Him and His plan for my life, and for my kids' lives.

Thanks for praying! Please pray for tonight, that it would go much faster than last time (14 hours). Pray that God would give me strength to walk through this with grace and a love for Him that would be obvious to the nurses and doctors.