Amazed By God

This post is probably going to be much longer than it should be. But I have the keyboard so you will read every word I type.

Yesterday Rachel came home from school and seemed like she had a rough day. She said that her stomach hurt and she had gone to the nurse's office twice to rest. Then she said that later in the day she almost cried because she missed me so much. While that was very sweet, it is not at all Rachel and I knew that the idea of surgery was weighing on her. As the night went on, we had several melt downs, over nothing. Towards the end of the evening she started asking some hard questions. She started with a bunch for Aunt Gretchen about why bad things happen. And then she asked Mike why sometimes it feels like God isn't living inside of you. "I've prayed the prayer twice to ask Jesus into my heart, but sometimes it doesn't feel like He is really inside of me." Mike explained the importance of not living by your feelings, and that we can have assurance of our salvation from God's word.

I decided that it would be good to spend some one on one time with her before bed. I started off by telling her that I had heard all the questions she was asking, and that I thought it was because her surgery was coming up and she was getting scared. I told her that before God created the Heavens and the earth, He knew that she was going to have this surgery, this week. She said she thought that was kind of funny. And then I took a deep breath and said, "God didn't just know that this day was coming, God meant for this to happen." Mike and I have explained this idea to her before, but I guess we never used language that made it so clear. She looked like I had punched her in the stomach. She said, "Well, I don't get it. If God loves me sooo much, then why am I having all of these surgeries?" I told her that the one thing she should never doubt is God's love for her. I talked to her for a long time about the cross, and how that is our constant reminder that God loves us.

She said that at school today they learned about the time Jesus brings a little girl back to life. She said, "Isn't it cool that God loved her so much that He did that?" I told her that God's love had nothing to do with it, that little girl was healed to demonstrate God's power and give proof that Jesus was God.

So then we got into the whole, "why do bad things happen" discussion. I told her that God is using her in mighty ways, and we can only see some of them, but God sees the whole picture. I showed her a picture we have of Mike's family standing outside. I covered up the whole picture but a tiny patch of dirt in the corner. I told her that's what we can see, and it doesn't look good, or like it could possibly bring about anything good. But God can see the whole picture and that is why He has chosen this for her. I told her that tons of people are praying for her. She was fascinated at the thought that strangers pray for her. I told her that she is causing people to turn to the Lord, and that is always a good thing. Her response: "It's kind of like if I had a choice for lunch between lollies and carrots. I would always pick the lollies, but God knows I need the carrots." Exactly!

Then I told her that the things she deals with now cause her to turn to Christ more than most kids. I explained that if we have an easy life here, we never have a need for a Savior and we could very easily wind up spending eternity in hell. But that because she had trials, she wanted to learn more about God and read His word. And that will end in eternity with Him in Heaven. I told her that is why the Bible says our troubles are light and momentary. Because in comparison to Heaven it will be like a second of pain. She said, "It's kind of like when we went hiking to Natural Bridge. It was really hard, but at the end it was totally worth it." Exactly!

After that we spent a long time talking about Heaven and how great it will be when we finally get there. We talked about how she will be able to see all the animals they have at the zoo (right now the zoo is more frustration than it's worth for her), but there she won't have to be afraid of them. She said she thinks she would like to ride a crocodile.

So, I told you it was going to be way too long. But I am so amazed at how God is working in her little heart. I want something else for her. I want her to be able to see and not be fearful about surgeries, but with a perspective like that, I wouldn't change her circumstances for the whole world.